Wednesday, November 22, 2006

I remember a date gone wrong...

This fellow had asked me out on a date. He was an acquaintance of mine, not somebody I had my eye on, but there was no real reason to say no. He seemed nice enough, a bit of an artist type.

I don't remember what we did. Dinner? I think that was it. We were walking around after we ate, and he suggested we head back to his apartment for some ice cream. This request seemed completely innocent to me, and I love ice cream, so I agreed. He had a little squalid apartment; old fridge, hot plate, tipsy table and chair in the kitchen, and in the other room, a messy bed, a thread-bare easy chair and a dresser. I noticed a fascinating little purple box on top of the dresser, so pretty and out of place amongst the clutter. I couldn't take my eyes off it.

We were having pleasant enough conversation. We ate ice cream, sitting in the other room while we waited for the tea to boil. At this point, he made a move to embrace me. Embrace is a nice word, I don't think it works. He tried to grab me. I moved away quickly, and told him to cool it. He informed me that he bought me dinner, he fed me ice cream, and now it was time for me to "put out". He used those very words.

I jumped off the easy chair, grabbed the pretty little plastic box from on top of the dresser, and ran out of the apartment without a backward glance. I know for a fact that if I had stayed, I wouldn't have had an option about putting out or not. I couldn't believe it, that I had been so naive and that he was such a boor. I didn't think people like him actually existed except in novels and movies.

I still have the little black box with the trippy purple lid. The purple lid is holographic, and it looks like you can see deep inside the pattern...but the box itself is only about 1/2 an inch deep. I keep my guitar picks inside. Every time I look at the box and gaze into the misleading lid, I remember that shallow people can appear to be very deep, and that I am easily fooled by pretty wrapping.

Note: I have edited this piece after reading everyone's comments. It should be a bit clearer now why I took the box.


Spoke said...

I remember being on the same end of this type of situation several times. As a man, I thought you were never meant to say no. Men were usually the chasers, the conquerers. When it goes the other way, where I was chased, I didn't know what to do. I've actually been sucked in several times, that may sound like ever guy's fantasy, but they can have it as far as I'm concerned!
Once, my car got vandalized quite badly because I didn't "give in" after I gave in a few times.
Another time, I was nearly beat on by several other bikers because they thought I was a "fag" cause I said no to a beautiful blonde.
I think boozin' and brawling became my cover up. I just wanted to be left alone.

Kirstie said...

I'm curious about why you grabbed the box in the rush to get out?

Paula said...

Good point, Kirstie...I should have included my thought processes in the story!

I had been looking at the box as we were talking. When I realized I was being threatened, I just grabbed it and ran. It felt like rather than me owing him, he owed me, and the box was payment for my distress.

I don't know if this is sound reasoning or not, but that is what went through my mind at the time.

kim said...

Ick! I always have a hard time letting a guy buy me a meal or any such thing like that when we are one on one just because I always felt something similar to that, that somehow I'll 'owe him' if he buys me something. Even if the guy isn't a jerk, I still worried about it.

So yeah, I battled that for a while, and am learning to be a bit more trusting and not think that just cuz a guy buys me something he wants something more than just the company I'm supplying at the moment. Having a lot of good guys in my life kind of helps that along.

lynn said...

Yes, me too, why did you take the box when the first thing on your mind would have been to rush to safety? Was it a wish to steal from him as a get-back, what it was i can't imagine. Tell!

Paula said...

Hey, Lynn!!

I answered your question in my comment above, but if anyone else misses it, I may edit my original story to include the missing thought process. I don't want anyone confused!

RC said...

That's crazy...I am glad you ran.

Pondering Pig said...

What a jerk. Seems like you completely misread each other. Or maybe he just didn't care and date rape was his plan from the beginning. Just too creepy. I'm glad you got out of there.

Lisa said...

Hey Paula,

I always read your entries, but I am not sure I've ever commented. I find your memories fascinating. Just the fact that you can remember things amazes me. My own memory is quite poor, and I don't have drugs to blame that on either! That you are making an effort to record them is so valuable! I may follow your lead someday and try to start dredging my mindbank!


Dates Gone Wrong said...

This is my al time favorite bad date story. So I went on a date with my BOSS. she was an extremely sophisticated woman, really nice body, very italian looking girl. 25, and had a kid. i texted her randomly one day, and she sugested we get together for some drinks. so we got together at a local bar and everything was going perfect. we ha a great time. we laughed, smoked cigarettes, got drunk and she invited me back to her place.

So I accepted of course.

We lay down together on her bed, begin watching a movie, and start making out, whatever, and one thing is leading to another. i stop kissing her for a second, and I say to her..."Do you breasts still lactate?" she stopped all motion, looks at me, says no, rolls over, and the next day dropped me off at my car, and never called me again.

I decided my position working as a kirby vacuum salesperson wasn't really the job for me anyway :)


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