Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I remember punching a biker in the face.

I was at the Commodore Ballroom, watching some band or other. At one point I was heading from the amazing, spring-loaded (I'm not kidding, the floor actually kind of bounces when everyone is dancing!) dance floor up one of the short flights of stairs to the second level. In front of me was a very large biker trying to come down the stairs. He was VERY drunk; in fact, he could hardly stand, and his gang of "brothers" were trying to maneuver him down the five or six steps. The large, drunk biker and I were all of a sudden blocking each other's path.

I wish you could see his face. It's like his eyes were open, but he was actually somewhere far away...and then he resurfaced for a moment, and there, right in front of his bleary eyes, was my chest. He looked like a little boy who just opened a present on Christmas morning, and he reached out his hand and grabbed my left breast. I didn't even think. I just popped him one as hard as I could, right in the face. His expression changed, still a little boy, but this time caught with his hand in the cookie jar...it was almost funny. He mumbled something about "sorry"...and then I became aware of all his biker buddies who were holding him up.

I realized at that moment that maybe punching someone so big and with so many big friends wasn't the most intelligent thing to do. Thankfully, after the brief pause of silence, that moment where the situation could turn in any way it pleased--they all started laughing and congratulating me. "Way to go, sister!" "That'll teach him to keep his hands to himself!! Harr har harr!!" "Did you see her?" etc. as they began again to move the big hulk unsteadily towards the dance floor, and probably the exit.

And I fully understood, perhaps for the first time, how that old cliche "sigh of relief" actually feels.

5 comments:

Spoke said...

Hmmmmmmmmmm, the old adage: The bigger they are...the stoopider they act..."
The thing that I find fasinating about this mammory (sic) of yours is that in my previous life,I too would " reach out and touch someone." I don't know where the nerve came from or the plain 'I don't care, here's what I'm doing" attitude driven action was birthed, but I wish any number of those women would have belted me. Just like little boys,big Bikers need to be held accountable too.
Oh yea, you've "hit" me before too, its not such a much...good effort though.

See_The_Unseen said...

I laughed too! Wonder if that makes me a biker on the inside ...

EarthForAliens said...

A biker on the inside? Who ever heard of a closet biker...

Anyway Paula... thanks for making my day just a little more surreal everytime I visit your blog.

Cheers!

Kim said...

Heheh....that's awesome!

Anonymous said...

im still trying to live that one down!!
-big biker